Looking forward to February 2018

On Sunday morning, the day of our 13th wedding anniversary, I took a pregnancy test that showed up VERY faintly positive!
I had taken one every day for a few days, and was pretty sure at that point that we were not pregnant, but thought, "wouldn't it be sweet if there WAS a little baby on the way, and we got to find out on our anniversary?!" So I took one last one, not even bothering to stare at it for the full 5 minutes like I usually do, because I knew I wasn't...then just before I threw it in the trash, I detected the lightest, faintest positive line I have ever seen, but lo and behold, it was there. I was shocked, excited, scared, anxious, but mostly, in awe of God's gift to us. An 8th child; a new member of our family; completely unique and individual, and a part of us.

I am juuust turning the corner now, at a few days over 15 weeks. Still having some bad days (like a few days ago when I literally laid on the couch all day feeling like death), but I think overall, more good than bad!

I haven't had any negative comments about this pregnancy...either I haven't told enough people yet, or by the time you get to #8 people figure you are a lost cause.

This pregnancy has been easier in a certain sense because there are several big kids now who are a significant help! Not just like, 'getting mama a diaper kind of help', but like doing dishes, cleaning bathrooms, being in charge of little ones, doing laundry, making food...that kind of help. Sometimes I wonder what they even need me for! Totally kidding!! There is still plenty I have to do, but things seem slower and less frantic over all; like the everyday work can be spread out a little more evenly. This is the first pregnancy that I have experienced this sort of help from my kids. It makes me wonder how I ever did this without big kids. All the mamas out there who have only littles...you are heroes in my eyes! I was there, and it was and is hard!! Not that its all easy now, and there is plenty that is harder...but some things are actually easier. I suppose you could say, it sort of evens out at a point, and maybe you trade in one difficulty for another, but thankfully, large family life doesn't seem to get exponentially more difficult. Yet. I am not too starry-eyed or naive to think that things are easy sailing from here on out, and I will probably be on here lamenting over the teenage years that are literally around the corner, but so far, the pre-teens have been a delight!
I love observing my family; something I have been doing more of lately. Its neat to get the chance to watch how it operates. Usually I don't see it because I am running it...but feeling kind of, all-the-time sick, and spending a great deal of time on the couch lately, I get to see things from a different point of view. I can see how each of my kids brings a unique dynamic to our family. They have different hobbies and  tastes in things; some enjoy cooking, others enjoy listening to music, or reading, or building, or playing with little ones, etc...it seems like there is stuff going on all the time, and it all kind of just happens. This shouldn't amaze me, but in a way it does as I think back to my earlier days of parenting when I used to frequently wonder how it was all supposed to work. Now I see. We all help each other; learn from each other; pray for each other; love each other.
Probably the most beautiful thing so far about this pregnancy has been seeing how genuinely excited all the kids already are over their new baby. They are talking about names and deciding that the best ones are the ones that sound the cutest when Josh says them. They are reminding me again and again of the wonderful gift and plan that God has for families...the multiplication of LOVE.
Each child that has been added to our family, has added to the richness of our lives. I am incredibly grateful for the gift of this new life, and we are all so excited to meet this new little person in February!

What's happening around here these days?

Soooo, its been awhile. I have been quiet on my blog here. I guess its because life has ebbs and flows, seasons, and times for things. This past year has been so busy and full and fruitful and yet, also quiet in a certain sense. I am so used to having a new born and building a house, and having my husband getting a  master's degree all at the same time, that I really had no idea what "normal" could look like! But as the kids get older, things continue to get busier. That is just life. But now, I feel like we are going with the natural flow of things, rather than racing ahead, or fighting against it.

Dominic is 12 and will be in 7th grade this fall. He loves hockey and board games, started guitar at the co-op, and enjoys the outdoors and discovering new places in our wooded backyard. He has grown in leaps and bounds and is about to pass me by in height any day now. He is in the confirmation program at our Church and will be confirmed next May!

Stella is 11 and will be entering 6th grade this fall. She is getting ready to take her Cecchetti 1 exam for ballet and is an incredibly poised and lovely dancer. She also plays beautifully on the violin and is an excellent seamstress! I am amazed by what she is able to do with a needle and thread. She will be attending Pine Hills Girls camp this summer for the first time and is super excited!

Gianna is 9 and entering 5th grade this fall. She is a delight to know and has the most loving heart you could ever meet. She also takes ballet and violin and is doing beautifully in both. Her favorite thing to do is write, direct, and act in plays. She is very creative in whatever she puts her mind to!

Joseph is 7 and will be starting his First Communion preparation this fall, in order to make his First Holy Communion at Easter next year, which he is so excited about! He is the most willing and helpful guy in the house. I almost never need to ask him twice to do something because he is always up for the task, and even when someone else is complaining, he joyfully offers to do their job for them. I am constantly amazed by his generosity. He enjoys building legos with his little brothers, explores the woods and plays games with his older brother, and also loves hockey!

Ezekiel is 5 and just finished up his first year of speech therapy. He is making great improvements with his speech, which is good for all of us, because the boy loves to talk! He is incredibly smart and amazes me with his building skills. He really has a talent for such things, and I would not be surprised to see him do great things with that gift! He also has a knack for being quite athletic and agile. He is a tiny guy, but everything he does is BIG!

Noah is almost 4 and he is the sweetest little boy on the planet. He is super laid back (most of the time), and enjoys snuggling, sleeping, eating, playing outside, legos, and story time. He is fully potty trained now and enjoys his "big boy" status (most of the time)!

Joshua is about to turn 2!! He  is so full of personality that it blows us all away at times, and keeps us laughing always! He loves tea, nursing, music (especially the song "Ophelia" by the Lumineers), story time, dancing, playing outside, and doing everything everyone else is doing. He is loud, and sensitive, and really has an amazingly dynamic personality. We are all so smitten by this darling little boy!

I am still homeschooling our children and taking advantage of the amazing home school co-op that is located at our Church. I took an adult ballet class this year for the first time in 13 years! It was wonderful, and ignited an old passion of mine. I also got into running this year. I regularly get out for a 3 mile run about 3-4 times a week. It has become a favorite activity of mine; a time to connect with God and de-stress my mind at the same time.

Peter is hard at work, as usual! He takes such good care of me and our kids. He has been staying very busy at his work, and also, working on house projects, playing hockey and coaching hockey, helping his niece with the plumbing in her new house, and taking me out on lots of dates (to help me stay sane)!

Peter and I  just celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary this May 29th! Where has the time gone? Its cliche, but so true.

We are finished up with school and on to summer break over here already! We have a big summer ahead of us. I will hopefully have opportunities to update this blog with all of our summer news!

Thank you for reading!

To be Pro Life

What does it actually mean to be Pro life? There seems to be confusion in the media on this topic and I have heard it from people in closer circles as well. I have heard it coined: "pro birth"; that pro lifers are only interested in babies being born and then have no concern for their quality of life, or anyone else's. I honestly do not understand where this ridiculous idea comes from because I know a great number of pro life people, and not a single one of them views it this way. 
I know people who dedicate their lives to fostering and adopting children; who become missionaries in other countries; who give generously of their money and self to serve and protect those in need, both born and unborn; who lovingly and generously have and raise families; who visit the sick and imprisoned; who set up and fund homes that take in and help mothers who cannot care for their children...this is what it means to be pro life. It means to know and value the inherent dignity of each human being, born or unborn; young, or old; healthy or sick. And often, it means to stand up for those who are most innocent and most in need of protection. The reason the pro life movement exists and takes special care to defend the unborn is because the unborn are the group that are most undervalued, not because they are the only ones who matter. All lives matter. And they matter at whatever stage of life they are in. Should I assume that if someone says he is for the group Black Lives Matter, that therefore, he doesn't place the same value on the lives of people who are not black? No. It is obvious that he is simply taking a stand for a group of people who is being undervalued. It is the same with the pro life movement. The most largely killed group of people, is that of the unborn; the most defenseless among us; those without a choice or a voice.  And that is why the goal of the pro life movement is to be their voice. 
But to be pro life doesn't just mean to value all stages of life, but to value each individual as well. 
To be pro life means to use our minds to pray for others, instead of judge them; to use our words to comfort others, instead of condemn them; to use our hands to protect others, instead of hurt them; to use our arms to welcome others, instead of push them away; to use our feet to walk with others, instead of running away from them.
The pro life movement is an organization that gives a voice to the voiceless, and unfortunately, because the unborn are so incredibly undervalued, it is an imperatively needed group; but to be pro life means ever so much more. It is so much more than an organization, or a platform, or a political stance; it is a way of living, that sees and responds to the inherent God given dignity that each human being possesses, both in large scale ways, and the small everyday ones too.  

A reflection

In light of the many charged opinions about race, gender, religion, etc., the only loving response, I believe, to anyone who is suffering, is compassion.

Recently, I was reflecting on the story of Martha and Mary and Lazarus. I always stop when I get to the part where it says that Jesus cried with Martha and Mary over the death of their brother. I always wondered why He did that. What reason did He have to feel sad?  He knew what He was about to do. I came to realize, Jesus did not cry about Lazarus's death because He felt sadness for Himself...no, He cried because He allowed Himself to feel what Martha and Mary were feeling. He could have come to them saying, No no no! Look what I am about to do here. I am about to raise your brother from the dead! Or, He could have been very logical and practical about it, since He knows death is not the end. Instead of trivializing their sorrow, or trying to help them reason it out, He allowed Himself to mourn with them; to meet them in their sorrow; to have compassion.

Compassion and mercy are facets of love. And love is not blind. On the contrary, love sees everything. And in the face of this, love chooses to look beyond; it sees beyond skin color, nationality, profession, health, gender, age, wealth; even sin... it looks directly at the person, and sees not just one part of him, but all of him.
Compassion helps us to love others even when we do not agree with them; even when we do not understand them. I am not suggesting we throw logic and reason out the window, or that there is no right and wrong to be considered. Only that the first thought we should have is: how can I show love to this person? That is at the heart of the message of the Gospel. That is what Christ does again and again throughout Scripture. He eats with the sinners, befriends the lowly, accepts the rejected, mourns with the broken hearted. The only One righteous enough to hold judgement or condemnation over anyone is God, who intimately knows our hearts. And yet, He does not. He teaches us another way; the way of compassion and mercy.


8 Above all hold unfailing your love for one another, since love covers a multitude of sins. 1Peter 4:8

A post about having sons

Boys are a lot of fun. I have to admit, though, I didn't really see myself having a house full of them :) For some reason, I always imagined my first baby would be a boy, and lucky for me, he is! I have always loved imagining the relationship of mother and child through the images of the Blessed Virgin Mary and the Infant Jesus. To me, that always conjured up feelings of the ideal motherhood. Of course, its not about gender, but that particular relationship always spoke deeply to me. This is in no way meant to under emphasize my girls, or my relationship with them. I LOVE my daughters and they will always hold a very special place in my heart (and I will hopefully be writing a post about having daughters later), but this post is all about the boys!

My oldest son is 11. I always hear people talk about how great it is to have a girl first and how much help they are. I am sure that is true, but all  I can speak about is having a son first, and that has been a wonderful dynamic to our household. He is 5 years older than his batch of little brothers, so he is more of a leader to them than a playmate. That being said, though, he is great at playing with them too. I am not sure if it is just him, or most boys who are first born, but Dominic is a very gentle and sensitive boy. He has so much compassion and is genuinely helpful around the house with chores, and little siblings.

The little boys are a different experience for me than Dominic has been, probably because they are the youngest, and all in a row. In general, boys are louder, more rambunctious, and more physical than girls. I didn't see that as much with Dominic, but with my little guys, that is so true! And after having so many of them, I am now certain that God decided to make little boys extra cute, in order to make up for all of their shenanigans :) There are so many times that I see them piled on top of each other in a "friendly game" of wrestling. I will never understand them, but perhaps that is one reason why I am intrigued by them. Often, I feel like I am dressing up superheroes all. day. long; or boosting their little egos by telling them how "big and tough" they are.

It is one of the most adorable and perhaps the most precious thing to me when my little boys act like they are big stuff, but in practically that same moment, need the comfort and protection of their mama. My sons hold my heart in a way no one else could. I know that one day, they will be too big to fit in my arms, but for now, it is the most cherished time of my day, when those "big and tough" little boys snuggle up to me and only find their comfort in my arms, melting me with their sweet and loving eyes and flattering words. Or when Dominic, out of the concern of his heart, goes out in the snow just to scrape the ice off my car when we have to go somewhere, or offers to carry my bags, or in many other ways treats me with such respect. I am so proud of him sometimes, that I think my heart might explode. To see him, now 11 years old, still so young, but growing more and more into a man, is truly a blessing and privilege.

For now, I am the one to whom my boys say "you look beautiful", and bring flowers to. They bring me so much joy and so much tenderness; I really had no idea how much of that would be found in the world of sons.

There is something very different and unique in the bond of mother and son. As a mother, I must continue everyday to allow them to grow, to remember not to hold on too tight, but at the same time, to continue to hold them daily, because while they need to have the room to grow, they also need that motherly tenderness in order to grow into the men they will one day become. Raising boys in today's world can be hard when there is so much confusion about what it means to really be a man. I am honored to be the mother of my 5 sons. And I am humbled that I, along with my husband, am called to guide these boys into adult hood, teaching them how to be men the way God intended men to be; like Christ, laying their lives down for others.

May the Lord guide us in this awesome adventure of raising these beautiful boys!!!

My mom

Joseph had surgery to remove his tonsils and adenoids this week. I was nervous leading up to the whole thing. Its a very simple and surprisingly quick procedure and also very common, and safe, as these things go. But, its always hard to put your children in the hands of another, especially in such a physical way, as a surgery of any kind. I had had it on my mind a fair amount, and so as we got closer to the day, I got more and more irritable and overwhelmed. There seemed to be so many little details to work out, and plan, and call about, and email about, etc. I know its mostly just my personality here, but I felt like my phone and emails were off the hook, and the weight of everything, at least within my little family, was resting on my shoulders. I know these things are always an opportunity too, for God to show His care for us, if we can simply give it to Him. And even though its like prying my fingers off of a railing that I am afraid to let go of, His faithfulness and care were demonstrated yet again, to my doubting and anxious self.

As it went, all of the planning that I thought was so important, ended up being unnecessary because all of the things the kids were supposed to do ended up cancelled due to the snow!  God showed me the beauty and simplicity of placing all of my plans in His hands, and trusting them to His care, without any anxiety or irritability, or worry... something I tend to be horrible at every.single.time.

The next thing God showed me, that often I unfortunately take for granted, is the love and care of my mom...

My mom and I, like any mother/daughter duo, have our differences. Sometimes, they are glaringly evident, and irritating to both of us. She is certainly not perfect, and neither am I! We are also very very much alike, and that too can be difficult in any relationship, especially when you see the very thing you struggle with, in someone you love. However, for all the differences and faults that we have (and there are many of them), she is the most sincere, generous, and caring person I know. She is fiercely loyal, unceasingly generous, and her feelings of love for her children and grandchildren know no ends. We don't always understand each other, but I can not ever doubt her care and love. 

Peter and I were both able to go with Joseph to his procedure, because my mom came over and watched all the rest of our kids for the day. I had a refrigerator/freezer stocked full of yogurt, pudding, jello, ice cream, juice, and milk so that Joseph would have plenty of things to choose from after his surgery. She made a delicious dinner for my kids, with plenty left over for us all, for dinner the next day. She has done things just like this for us when we have gone in to deliver each of our babies. Never does she make me or my family feel like we are burdens to her, or that she has other things she would rather be doing. She also works full time as a doctor, no less, and still it seems that she is always willing to help out in any way she can, even when she is  tired. I can honestly say, I do not know anyone else with that kind of loyalty, generosity, dedication, and care. This is really nothing new for her, but I think it struck a special chord with me, as it was because of her generosity, that my little boy could have me and Peter to himself and we could focus on him rather than the details of grocery shopping, cooking, and child care. Whenever someone does something so loving for my babies, it cannot go unnoticed or unappreciated by me :) It was such a gift...she is such a gift. I don't tell her that enough. In fact, I am really bad at telling her that. I need to change that. I am so very grateful for the gift that she is to me, Peter, and our kids. I pray that I will be as dedicated and generous of a grandmother one day...

Thank you, Lord, for my mom.

Joseph right before he had his procedure. He was very worried. 

Joshua was happy as a clam while he waited with us.

Joseph right after he woke up. He was doing well but very tired and no appetite. Its heart breaking to see your baby in pain. I would take it from him in a second, if I could.

Doing a little better today and getting a nap with baby Joshua.

My mom (Nony to my kids), with my brother, Johnny, celebrating Gianna's recent birthday!

Valentines Day and some catching up...

OK. So...I am officially the worst blogger ever. Its been 6 months since my last post I think. "Better late than never", is my moto these days. So is, "That'll do", and "Oh well." Does that sum up my last 6 months for you?

Enough with the sarcasm already! In all seriousness, life is really, really good. Its a real kind of good, where daily life is not perfect, my house is never clean, and I always run short on time, but I love my family and they love me, and God is good, all the time.

Yesterday was Valentines day, and although we usually don't do much to celebrate it, the day turned out exceptionally lovely. We started the day off with getting up too late for early Mass, so we decided to do a nice family brunch then go to the later Mass. It was a relaxing morning; just what we all needed after a very full and busy weekend. At Mass, Peter and I, along with the other couples there, got to renew our wedding vows, which was really sweet and just like the first time, minus the gaggle of children hanging on our arms ;)

My mom generously came over after Mass to watch all of our kids so Peter and I could go out for the afternoon. I usually take Joshua with me everywhere, as he is only (already!?) 8 months old and still only nurses, but we decided to give it a try leaving him home since we were only planning to be out for a few hours. I think it has finally sunk in that I really don't have a newborn anymore :(

As much as I love having Joshua with me, it was really refreshing and fun to be out and about with just Peter. We went down town Ann Arbor and walked around the Art Museum, then went out for Chinese food, and then picked up a coffee on our way home. At home, we did some fun sled rides with the kids, and after putting kids to bed, watched a show together.
It was unexpectedly a perfect day and the perfect way to start the new week.

Thanks for reading! Here are a few pictures from the last 6 months...

Lorien this summer, 2015

Boys helping Papa

Cutest Cowboy ever

Adorable

 oldest and youngest

Beautiful daughters, pretending to like each other ;)

Boys being their cute selves...always busy and always fun!

My crew on Halloween 2015

And dressed up again on All Saints Day!