Each pregnancy for me has been an opportunity to grow, stretch, and change as a wife, mother, and daughter of God. I can't honestly say I have taken advantage of all of those many opportunities I have had to grow spiritually, but they have always been an invitation for me. Pregnancy is a perfect illustration of growth because it is a literal growing, stretching, and changing of my own physical body.
This pregnancy has been different for us. God called us to a deeper faith and a deeper reliance on Him this time around, than He ever has before. We began building a house around the time we found out we were expecting a new baby. Needless to say, it has been a very very busy and stressful 9 months. I was about 36 weeks when we finally were able to move into the new house. My due date is June 12th. Today! And yet, no major sign of baby making his debut. I have never ever been late in all of my 6 previous pregnancies. Always on time, or early. We have many things going on this summer, particularly in June. A wedding, a camping trip for the kids (not me!), getting our old house on the market and hopefully sold by the end of the summer...and of course, a baby due. For us, this is a lot! I feel like I have spent most of this pregnancy, especially the third trimester, in a completely exhausted state, both physically and mentally.
So now that I have given a little background, I really want the heart of this post to focus on the things I have learned from this rather hectic time in my life.
First, is that God's grace is always sufficient. Many times this pregnancy I have wondered how on earth something would work out. And yet, it always has. God is an ever faithful and compassionate Father, who provides just the right amount of grace for each and every wave we must ride in life.
Secondly, Peter is the greatest husband and father in the world. He really is, and lucky for me, I got him :) He provides for me and our kids so well. He is patient, kind, and hard working, I often think, there is no problem he cannot tackle and conquer. I have no idea how he handles a full time job, a full time family with 6 kids, and a pregnant wife, and building a house (like literally building it with his own two hands at times, and the rest of the time, directing the whole project as the contractor). I really have been quite useless in this whole process, requiring more from him than I have been able to give. And yet, he keeps on giving. Sometimes it is the little things that mean the most...when he comes home from work and offers to give me a back and foot massage, or cook dinner so I can go lay down or take a relaxing bath. I am not sure where he is getting the energy for all of that, but I sure am grateful.
Thirdly, my kids are amazing and much more capable than I ever gave them credit for. They have become quite good at seeing what needs to be done, and doing it. From doing dishes and laundry, making simple meals, cleaning bathrooms, taking care of the little boys, and changing poopy diapers, I really do have some great helpers here. And what touches my heart the most, is that they really have compassion. They (at least most of the time), truly want to help.
And last but not least, I have learned a great deal about myself and my role as a mother. I do my children no favors by always doing for them. I tend to take great pride in myself when I get all the things done without having to ask anyone else to lift a finger. It sounds great really. Let the kids be kids! Give them no responsibilities so they can spend all day long doing whatever their hearts desire. They will have plenty of opportunity to have responsibilities when they are older. But the thing is, if that is really the way I were to raise my kids, they would get all the responsibilities of an adult but probably with no life skills about how to handle them. They will be obligated to serve others, but perhaps without a servant's heart. They will be called to selflessness and charity, but maybe the roots of selfishness will be too hard to pull out by then. Virtue takes time to grow. It must be gently tended to again and again over the years of one's life. I have learned that the best way I can mother my children is to lovingly and tenderly teach them to serve others. Thankfully, in a large family, that is not too hard to do. A family is a unit that is designed to work together. Thankfully, this time in our lives as a family has literally forced me to rely on the help of my kids on a daily basis. Perhaps the hardest thing for me has been to accept that I need help; to ask for help; to allow and teach my children to help.
God is good. All the time. His steadfast love endures forever! He shows me His faithfulness again and again as I struggle through the waves of life. I want to be done with this pregnancy and finally get to hold my new baby boy in my arms and kiss his little face. I find myself getting anxious and impatient for this. I want to be on the road to recovery so that I can be more helpful to my family. But then I turn my eyes to God and remember just how faithful and good He is. His timing is always best.
Please pray that our baby would be born soon and for safety and health for baby and me, but even more so, that my family and I would learn to trust God more deeply and rely on the grace He offers us each and every day.
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