A breakfast date that turned philosophical... and some randomness.

There are so many differences in the world. Each and everyone of them has its own perfect place and value. I was reflecting on this one day while talking to Peter. We were out on a rare breakfast date (thanks to my generous mom!) at our favorite little diner, and inevitably, we began talking about our kids. I was updating him about our homeschooling and we were commenting on each of the kids, and what is going on in their lives. The conversation turned toward the larger perspective of the differences and gifts of each person God has created. We notice it in our own children. Each of them is so different from his or her siblings. Everyone always comments on how similar our kids look. "They all look exactly the same!" they say. And they do look a lot alike! I love comparing those new babies and noticing how Stella and Joey have the same big dark eyes, or how they all have the same black head of hair when they are born, or how Noah is Peter's mini-me, but has the same perfect little rose bud mouth as his big sisters do. Zeke and Gianna are so similar in temperament and have the same huge and infectious smile, and Dominic and Noah have the same relaxed nature, and easy going personalities. I love seeing the similarities, but as they are growing and changing, I am appreciating their differences even more. They each bring such a joy and dynamic to our family in different ways. This, of course, is true with any family and within the family of God. We are all made up of His body and have our God given personalities and gifts that add to the richness of His Body, the Church. How boring and bland the world would be if everyone was the same! You've heard that before, I am sure, but it is no less true to say it again. God must love creating souls. It is a new creation every time. I am sure that would never get boring! Its easy to fall into thinking that one personality is better than the others, or one gift more useful and important. But that could not be further from the truth. Each and every person brings to the world a different angle, facet, perspective, that without it, would be a great loss to humanity and the Church. I see that, even within the little world of my own children.
I love reflecting on the lives of the Saints. They are all so incredibly different! As tempting as it may be at times, we should never want to be different persons, just better versions of ourselves. As a parent, I think that we are called to help guide our children towards being the best versions of who God created them to be. The Saints are examples to me of how different we can be, while still within the perfectly designed plan of God. I think this touches on one of the main issues with abortion. Its not so much that the person to cure cancer may have been, or could be aborted, though that is certainly a valid argument against abortion too, but its even more the fact that even the smallest souls have incredibly great value in and of themselves, and also in the vastly larger picture of eternity.

Focusing on the moments

Noah is almost 15 months. It took me by surprise how much he is becoming one of the gang these days. He's still a baby, but he is quickly growing into more of a toddler at this point. With my first three kids, I looked forward to all the big milestones. I couldn't wait until they ate real food, crawled, talked, walked. It made the in between longer, which made it seem like they were a baby for-e-ver! This time around, that is not the case. I almost feel a tiny pang of sadness every time Noah does something that makes him seem a little less baby-ish. I have been so enjoying his babyhood, that I almost never want it to end. I don't even mind still waking up to nurse him at night...almost ;)

Sorry for a ridiculous amount of Noah-pictures, but seriously, can you blame me?!

There is a dichotomy in my mind about kids growing up. On the one hand, I love seeing all they are becoming capable of. I love seeing them change into the people they will one day become. I love seeing them learn and grow. On the other hand, I feel like time goes by too fast.
 It takes my breath away sometimes when I look at my daughters and see how stunningly beautiful they have become. They are not babies anymore. Those adorable roly poly appendages have been replaced by long slender arms and legs that run, dance, jump, skip, ride bikes, etc, No longer are they OK with food all over their cherub little faces. They care about their appearance and take a bit of time to get ready in the mornings. They are becoming more and more like young ladies, and amazingly, they get more beautiful by the day.
What's more though, is that they are truly, and wonderfully  helpful. My heart melts when they do something that their bodies might not be big enough to do with perfect grace, but that their hearts have been moved to do, like when Gianna or Joey try to calm a crying baby Noah by walking him around. Gianna has occasionally been found doing dishes or making my bed on her own accord. Stella has been especially helpful with Noah these days. Just this morning, she heard him wake and got him out of bed and into the living room with some toys. It was like she didn't skip a beat. Dominic has been a tremendous help with the two little boys. He has the most compassionate and caring heart of anyone I know. He loves to play with his little 4 and 2 year old brothers. He rarely loses his patience with them, and has been quick to ask what he can do to help me out when he sees things are getting overwhelming to me. Often, I look at him and see a handsome  young man. No longer a baby or even a little boy, but a young man. He has an intriguing mind and asks questions both academic and spiritual that are already well beyond me.

Sorry for another long line of pictures, but hey, I am a mom and every mom has the right to be sappy about her kids, so here it goes anyways!

Even though my older three are all so much bigger than they were a few short years ago, they are at the same time still so little. In the older three, despite how independent they really are, I still see those baby-faces from time to time, and when they are sleeping, I think my heart might explode from the sheer preciousness of every one of them. Its when they are sleeping that I can't see them as anyone other than the precious little baby they once were.  But those little glimpses of who they are growing into can shock me for an instant, and get me to recognize the future that is right around the corner.  I gladly welcome their help here these days, and its good to see how, despite my faults and failings, the kids are still growing up exceptionally well.
Its the way of life. Children grow and change. Its beautiful and good. Over all, I appreciate and love these changes, but every once in a while, I find myself missing the time when they were all just babies and we had no duties other than to play and cuddle together, and I wonder, did I appreciate it enough then? Did I take advantage of the time I could spend just holding them? I am sure I did not. Do we ever really realize how precious each moment is, until it passes? Well, I am going to hug that big 9 and a half year old boy today, and the next, and the next... and I will not let go until he does. And I am going to hold and cuddle my 15 month old baby boy as much as I am possibly able to, and I won't complain when he wakes up to nurse at night, but instead, take that opportunity to savor his preciousness and hold him close...because I know, it doesn't last forever, and I know I will never regret not getting that laundry folded or that kitchen cleaned or that curriculum perfected. But I WILL regret not savoring their childhood and babyhood; not hugging them enough; not taking the time to stop what I am doing and watch them or listen to them, because I am so busy doing, what? Other more important things? There is a place for doing "other important things", to be sure! And as more kids have come into this family, and they have gotten older, there are so so many important things that do need to get done.  But I dare say, nothing will ever be more important than taking the time to love my kids and guide them to Jesus. I am so fickle sometimes, and I forget easily. But with God's grace, I pray that I will remember to keep my priorities straight.
In my journey as a mother, I have been learning the importance of the art of living in the moments. Enjoy the present, because it will be gone too soon. The future is good and beautiful too, but if you focus on it, or the past, it will rob you of the present, which is always the most beautiful. Many Saints have said that the key to happiness is to be thankful, and to always live in the present. Through motherhood, God shows me how incredibly true that is.

Stellas pictures (A picture post)

My daughter Stella has become quite the little photographer lately. I love looking through her pictures because they are from her perspective. She sees things through her own eyes and it is refreshing to me. I also love that she gets some great shots that I might not have thought to take or that I might not have noticed. I would love to share with you some of my favorites from her photos over the last two years! To start off ... a Stella selfie ;)

She obviously loves her siblings, and I think she has a gift for capturing some great moments. I can't wait to see how her talent blooms!

As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace
-1 Peter 4:10

(Not) Another NFP post.

4 Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth. 5 Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate.
Psalm 127:4-5

So this is a post that has been sitting in my draft folder for weeks now. I started it during NFP awareness week, when I was inspired, and then never got around to editing and posting it until now. That's my life these days...starting things and leaving them unfinished for long periods of time. Oh well! Better late than never, hopefully!

During NFP awareness week, I read several articles about NFP. All of them good, promoting that it is natural, can greatly benefit marriages, very effective, etc. However, I felt there was something important missing in many of the articles that I came across. First I should preface that I believe there is a difference in NFP as a "tool", and NFP as a "mindset". As a tool, NFP is simply fertility information and the things that go along with it, like charts, rules, methods, etc. As a mindset, NFP is openness to life, prayerful family planning, and trusting in God's will. I firmly believe that a couple can be an NFP (in mindset) family and never use NFP (as a tool).  It is an obligation that Catholic couples remain open to life and not use birth control, but they do not have an obligation to use NFP (as a tool). I believe it is a mistake to think or make anyone feel as if NFP (as a tool)  is an essential or even important ingredient to a happy, healthy, and holy marriage. As a tool, NFP is not a good in and of itself, whereas, as a mindset it absolutely is. Within the NFP mindset, generously and prudently discerning to have all the babies you could possibly have, or generously and prudently discerning to limit the size of your family, is all well within the NFP mindset. The number of children is not at all the point of NFP. The point is to glorify God within our families and humbly recognize that all  control is really only in His hands. He has given us a gift in NFP as a tool, but let us never make the mistake in thinking that the information that is available to us through NFP is our ticket for control over when or if life is created. Family size and spacing of children is a very personal topic and should only be between the couple and God, and anyone else whom the couple chooses to include for the sake of counseling.

 In my own personal experience, the rules and tools of NFP have not always been completely obvious or easy to follow or use for one reason or another. I have been in circles where I have felt judged by how many children we have and how closely spaced they are. I also know there is plenty of judgment on the other side, where people may judge a couple as ungenerous or too limiting in their family size. We must stop judging other people! Families are as unique as personalities and they come in all different shapes and sizes. There is no perfect or "right" family size. I truthfully am overcome by the generosity that God has had with us in blessing us with so many children, and in paving the way for them to come into this world. In our first few years of marriage, sadly,  it was hard for us to see it this way. We were influenced by the culture we live in, which emphasizes a specific (small) number of children, perfectly spaced, after having meticulously organized all the other important "life-stuff". In a certain sense, we felt like we were bad at NFP, because we viewed it through the lens of our culture and we saw  NFP primarily as a tool, and not as a mindset. We have a new perspective now. NFP does not fail. Pregnancy is not a reflection of our lack of some information unsuccessfully implemented, or a lack of self control, but rather a gift given in God's perfect wisdom and love. An eternal soul is never an accident.

Perhaps what I thought was amiss in some of the articles promoting NFP recently is that there seems to be too much emphasis on the methods, rules, and effectiveness. I have heard many times that NFP is just as effective as birth control. The truth is, there's no comparison; NFP is about serving God, and birth control is about serving oneself. There also seems to be the idea that these rules and methods are key to increasing intimacy within marriage. It has been our experience that it is not NFP as a tool, but rather NFP as a mindset, and ultimately, the welcoming of each new child into our family, which increases the intimacy within our marriage.

 I have come across a few beautifully written blog posts that explain things so much better than I ever could, so please take a moment to hop on over to the the links below and read them for yourself. They were inspiring to me, and I hope to you too!

http://www.houseunseen.com/2013/04/nfp-doesnt-work-you-have-so-many-kids.html

http://www.catholicsistas.com/2012/05/11/why-you-dont-have-to-use-nfp/

http://www.crisismagazine.com/2011/five-ways-i-dont-love-natural-family-planning

http://www.catholicallyear.com/2014/07/dear-newlywed-youre-probably-worried.html

Our Summer so far...

These days have been just what I had been needing and hoping for. No set schedule what-so ever. We still have a routine, but its relaxed and really just a bare minimum. Lately, I have given myself the OK to let the kids watch a couple of episodes of a show on Netflix while I sit and have my tea and breakfast and mentally prepare for the day. At that point, the kids have usually migrated to something else like reading or playing blocks in the living room, or some other quiet-ish activity. Sometime in there, we will do our morning prayers and get dressed for the day. Usually, it goes well.

We have had play dates at friend's houses, and at parks. We are signed up for the reading program at our library, so the kids and I have been busy reading as much as we can, and taking trips to the library for more books! I have been trying to incorporate more daily Mass into our weeks. Peter and I went on our first ever get-away for a weekend. My mom generously offered to watch the kids the whole time. It was refreshing to get away, just the three of us (we brought Noah), and live life at a slower pace for a bit. My mom also took my two oldest kids to NYC for a weekend to visit my brother, Johnny, and see a bit of the big city. They loved it and raved about it for days after they came home. While they were gone, Gianna and the boys got  to do a few fun things too like a play date,  the movie theater, and the ice cream shop. All around, it was a fun time!

 To kick off the month of July, we celebrated Noah's first birthday. Its really hard to believe that it has been a full year since he joined our family (on the outside), and it was so fun to celebrate him! I always love my children's first birthdays. It might be (one of)  my favorite year(s) to celebrate.

I began a 28 day detox about a week ago. I am trying to get a fresh start with my health and teach myself and family a healthier way to eat. We tend toward healthy eating already, so this isn't a huge change for my family overall, but the program that I am doing for myself has been a moderate but welcome challenge. It involves cutting out many things like caffeine, gluten, dairy, and soy, among other things, but it is chalk full of good lean protein, produce, and a limited amount of  few whole grains, like brown rice and quinoa. The idea is to reboot your digestive system, then after the 28 days, slowly reintroduce the foods you cut out, to see if you are sensitive to anything. I know I may sound crazy, but its kind of fun. Kind of.
The bigger news for us this summer is that  Peter finished (almost... will be completely finished by August!) his thesis for his master's degree, and also, we are finally able to start building our house on the land that we have owned now for almost a year. The building process should start this week! I know we have A LOT of work ahead of us, but it doesn't seem too daunting...yet. We have always had a lot going on, so I don't think this will be too dramatically different from other very busy times. We have survived through having two children a year apart, while at the same time, Peter was finishing up his undergrad degree at MSU, after which, he went on to get his masters degree at Uof M and I continued having babies and homeschooling our 3 older children, while chasing after 3 little ones. We never said we liked to do things the easy way ;) Luckily, we will be able to stay in our current house until we move into the new one, which I know is a major benefit, and makes things 10 times easier than having to move into a rental house, while preparing our current house to be sold. I know many families who have been, or are in that situation, and I truly commend them for it. I don't have what it takes!

So, these are just a few parts of our summer. Life keeps on going, and we are doing our best to keep up. The summer months have been a breath of fresh air to me. Its a wild ride at times, but what a blessing it is too! Please keep us in your prayers as we journey into the realm of house building, and moving away from the only home our children have ever known. We are excited!