It was on in the background one day, as I was doing dishes. I was feeling down, overwhelmed, alone, sad, and wondering why a certain prayer (seemingly) hadn't been answered. I was thinking about that, when I began listening to the words of this song...
Lost, everything is lost
And everything I've loved before is gone
Alone like the coming of the frost
And a cold winter's chill in my stony heart
And where were You when all that I've hoped for?
Where You when all that I've dreamed?
Came crashing down in shambles around me
You were on the cross
Pain, could you take away the pain?
If I find someone to blame, would it make my life seem easier?
Alone, all my friends are asleep
And I can't find anyone to stay awake with me
Where were You when sin stole my innocence?
Where were You when I was ashamed?
Hiding in a life, I wish, I never made
You were on the cross, my God, my God, alone, alone
You were on the cross, You died for us, alone, alone
You were on the cross, victorious, alone, alone
You were there in all of my suffering
And You were there in doubt and in fear
I'm waiting on the dawn to reappear
There have been many times in my life when I have felt alone, afraid, and so very far from God; wondering where He is. Sometimes I struggle with despair, and very often I struggle with fear and anxiety and am simply blind to the love God has poured out for me.
On that day, in that moment, listening to the words of that song, my thoughts were stopped in their tracks. Where is God when I need Him most? He is on the cross, saving me. What deeper love is there? He has never left me and never will. For me, it is more of an act of my will to recognize this truth, than it is a feeling. But in that moment, it was all consuming. I knew it, with my mind and my heart. He is on the cross, truly all alone, out of love for me.
I constantly pray that my children will always know God's love for them, and always know He is with them. I pray that they will never feel alone, because they will know that He is always there. I pray that whatever trials they are asked to go through, they will keep their eyes on Him. I pray that when it feels like it is just too tough, they will remember to look at the cross, and know that not only is He with them in their trial, but that He has already brought them through it.
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33
